I’ll admit I’ve had my share of ups and downs that life brings, and it seems like a lot of downs these past years. I’ve lost many things precious to me, mostly friends and people I called friend. In that I’ve relied on Ma’at. I know I risk sounding like I’m spouting the Law of Attraction in some ways (a concept I’ve grown to strongly dislike), but for me living in Ma’at includes one very precious thing: to keep my character. I’ve watched which people I allow in my life, what I eat, what I put into my head, and what comes out in these processes so I can refine when necessary. My actions and my character serve as a testament to my true nature.
I needed to monitor what came into my life and my body because I saw what happened to my sense of peace and balance when I didn’t. It affected my demeanor, my mind (I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and depression), my patience, and most important my self-perceptions. When I was too permissive of what came into my life I found those little things reflect on my character in adverse ways. How could I live a peaceful life aligned with Ma’at if I allowed things to hurt me on various levels? I realized with that question, one that more supportive friends in my life pointed out, that it was time to clean house if I wanted to remain true to myself.
One of the first ways I cleaned house was to examine the people in it. I had lots of people who wanted me to be their yes man, would emotionally and verbally abuse me, those who wanted me to follow any vision but my own, were two-faced, and even just flat out couldn’t bother to be a friend. I established boundaries with them and the people who couldn’t respect those have left my life in one fashion or another. I know at least when any backlash happened I made the right choice. I’m still cleaning house in this respect. Disconnecting from chaotic people of that sort permitted the people who were actual friends to become more prominent in my life. They were honest even when it wasn’t what I wanted to hear, supportive, allowed me to have my own vision, and occasionally conversed with me. We don’t agree on everything, and that’s fine. It planted the seeds for other ways I needed to clear out the chaos in my life.
One form of finding Ma’at in my life came in the need for help. Sometimes this came in the form of therapy. It provided a necessary wake-up call I needed about my mental health. I always felt that the mind was influenced by some things in the body, but I learned how much one impacted the other. It now means that in order to keep the balance between the two I have to monitor both. I’ve had to resort to some self-help methods to accomplish this order. Even though I’ve had a strong self-awareness with my body I developed self-awareness about my mind through my body’s signals. It’s an ongoing process like all the other forms of aligning myself with Ma’at, but that is part of the nature of order I suppose.
Part of the way I watch my mental health consists of what I “put into my head”. I allowed a lot of junk to enter my thoughts. I’m not talking about the idea of watching reality television either. I’m talking about as far as bickering on the Internet. I’ve found facebook and internet forums are my biggest culprits for upsetting my mind. It’s not even the idea of someone angers me; it’s just the depressing barrage of extremist views, extreme measures to garner support for a cause, or even unwavering ideologies with no room for civil discussion. It relates back to the company I keep. I learned to that end I need to mind what I want to allow into my thoughts. Do I really need to discuss with people who are more interested in indoctrinating? Do I need to participate in communities who aren’t really interested in forming a real community? It’s part of the reason I’ve reconsidered my connections on social networks and which forums I participate. As I’ve shifted my focus to stronger communities and less extremism I found things in my mind I tucked away for years.
My mind freed a bit more I found what constitutes my true nature. I realized what I admired about myself, what I still need to work on, my aspirations, and why I bothered to nurture them. I found in my quest to operate within Ma’at my true sense of self. I’m not perfect at it, and it’s a quest that will never end, but being true to myself means I have a compass in order to navigate what I consider orderly.
If I’ve tried to attain one thing it is being true to myself. I know that even though what I think that entails fluctuates and changes I’ve stayed true to it, and in that respect I’m aligned with Ma’at. This shows in how I present myself and because of it I’ve learned that much more about myself. I also know there are people who will see these attributes because of my actions and awareness.
I discovered in upholding Ma’at in my life I found my sense of self. I know what’s best for me and in learning that I have begun learning how to uphold Ma’at in the world around me. I can focus on what’s important for myself and for interacting with others without excessive compromise. I’ve also learned without the chaos in myself I’m more likely to navigate and evaluate my environment. Ma’at serves as my compass and my center.