I’m back from something of a hiatus. However, I’m not completely ready to take on the blog completely again. I feel ready now to explain what happened and where I want to take the blog at this point.
I had to take a hiatus because after 6 years my partner left me. This left me devastated to say the least as we were planning a wedding even the day before he dumped me. I’ll have a post explaining why even getting that far is a huge ordeal for me as it is. Just the same with everything else in my life I felt I had completely lost everything, including my job (I had just gained a job again only to be fired shortly thereafter). I have lost much in that year alone and felt completely hopeless and alone. I had a nervous breakdown. During this time I broke promises to myself, including a failed suicide attempt. This happened in spite of reaching out to my friends and those I trusted in the community. To those who helped me get semi-functional again, thank you. I came closer to succeeding than I ever have with suicide, and it shows me that there are trustworthy people who’d rather I not die. To those who told me to “heal thyself”, I think you need more healing than I do to turn away someone in such a state. If your “solution” is to not even contact the police when someone is suicidal I question a lot of things about your character.
During that time, however, I was inundated with work of a different sort. I have a hobby where I review music. These days I use it to retrain myself into how to critique my own work objectively and relearn my creative process. I’ve had it for some time but I tried to keep it separate from this blog for a few reasons, mainly because I know people have a hard time accepting that part of me. Just the same I have been swamped with lots to do in that area and I want to get it done ASAP. That means focusing away from this blog for a bit.
There is also an issue of finances. I’ve done everything with this blog out of pocket. I’ve kept quiet about it because I figured I don’t have enough readers to really make a fuss nor should I make a fuss. I set up an etsy store in the meantime until I could either get enough freelance work or until I got a job. While I do have work coming in now it’s not enough to pay my bills. I may be starting a fundraiser so I can pay my bills, but I’m not really sure how I feel about that yet. I’m going to look at my options and hope somebody hires me or steady work of some sort comes along. This will also keep me away from my blog a bit.
In spite of everything going on in my life I still have some plans for the blog. I want to continue with my inspirationals where possible. I’ve also decided to add to the Kemeticism 101 pool with my own rendition of it. I’m not certain what all I should cover since I’m unsure there isn’t a 101 topic untouched. I’d love to hear some feedback on that topic. I’m also hammering out my posts on racism and other -isms of the Neo Pagan community. I realize now this too will be a series of posts given the nature of the topic. I don’t know how long this will take since my time is going to be split up.
I ask everyone to continue to be patient with me as I try to get stuff together. It’s still going to take time for me to get through all of this. I can say, however, I will try to keep this blog going to contribute in a meaningful way.